Great Post Allison!

Hi Everyone! I was just reading Allison's post (right below this one) and it really is terrific advice. I am pretty open with my kids, and very aware of how I speak to them. I give them space, try not to hover, and allow them to make mistakes. Sometimes one of us will be prone to a temper tantrum. When it is one of the kids, I tell them to walk away and spend some alone time, and then (before much time passes) the situation has calmed and we can talk about it and find the words to think it through. Unfortunately, sometimes I am the one who has a temper tantrum, and I do the same thing, I go to my room spend some alone time, and when I am calmer I speak to the kids, offer my apologies if anyone's feelings got hurt and explain myself in a constructive way. In my day (gosh that made me sound old) parents did not apologize. They were right all the time and did not have to offer any explanation for their actions. I think that makes for a pretty confusing and resentful childhood. So, if we recognize this, we can heal the next generation by showing our children a true adult way to conduct themselves. Admit your mistakes and weaknesses. Very good point Allison, thank you for writing!

Liz thinks I should write a post on homeschooling, and I plan on doing that just haven't found the words I want to say just yet. My mind is sort of set on making money to support my family right now, so I do apologize that I have been sort of absent here on this blog. I do visit it often to see who is posting, but I have just not settled in to do any writing. My bad. I will tell you, that this is my second year homeschooling, and it was much easier than the first. My 8th grader is somewhat behind in Literature and Math, but I have decided it will not kill him to work a couple of weeks into the summer. I have found an excellent tutor in my friend's husband, he sat down with Dante last night and very patiently worked with him. I was in awe. Usually Dante starts sneezing and itching when he does math...like he is allergic to it, and at first he did sneeze a few times, but after a few minutes he totally calmed down and was able to work efficiently with Shawn. It was like an angel flew in and took this burden off of my plate. Yes, I do believe in miracles and angels.

Anyway, (not to change the subject) but I am attempting to re-read "Conversations With God" and I am finding it very helpful in removing my anxiety and finding my faith again. Healing is an on-going process, or as the book would say, re-membering is an on-going process. I get lost in the hustle and bustle of things, I get caught up in disappointment and fear, and when I do I find it helpful to go back to my self-help books. I highly urge any of you to visit our Amazon store and order "Conversations With God", it will amaze you and answer so many of your life-long questions.

One more thing before I go...I have written a new lens on Squidoo to help promote TSEAN. If you don't mind, please take a moment to visit there and if you are a Squidoo lensmaster, please rate the lens for me. You can also Digg it or Stumble it. That would be very helpful. Here is a clickable link: OK To Like Yourself

Thanks everyone! Have a great day!

Admit Your Faults

 

Admit Your Faults

Mothers Make Mistakes
Do you sometimes feel like you're doing everything wrong, your kids are going to suffer and you shouldn't even be a mother?  It's not uncommon to have those feelings from time to time.  Life is far from perfect.  Human beings make mistakes and suffer sometimes.  Our kids will get hurt and there'll be nothing we can do to protect them.  Hard to accept, but all of this has nothing to do with whether you should or shouldn't be a mother.

Learning Curve
Why do we assume we should make everything OK at all times for ourselves and for our children?  The job of being a mother is like every other job in that it has its ups and downs, a learning curve, and tasks we like and tasks we don't like.  The difference is that the job of a mother trains us to be a better human being.  If we're already doing things perfectly, how can we strive to be better?  It's important that sometimes, everything is not OK.

Kids Need to Make Mistakes Too
You are a role model for your children.  Teach them how to make mistakes, have faults admit them, apologize and grow from them.  Let your children know that you aren't perfect and that they don't need to be perfect either.  Let them know that life isn't supposed to be perfect but that we are all striving to become better human beings and that when we do, we make this world a better place.  They will feel safe even with imperfections because they'll see you recognize your mistakes and do repair work.  They'll enjoy knowing that whatever they mess up, they can attempt to clean up too.

It's About Growth
Admit your faults when you have them.  This job can take you to the depths of your pain and lift you to the greatest heights you can reach as well.  You don't have to be perfect but you can learn how to better yourself.  You can always be more giving, more loving, more organized, more disciplined, more patient, more of just about anything.  But don't let that make you think you're not right for this job.  Instead, know that this is exactly why you have this job.

©2007 Allison Gilbert, M.A., L.M.F.T.; Free Tips
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