As parents, we expect that our children listen to and obey us, right? We get upset when kids get that far away look in their eye when we are talking to them. Kids just don't listen. Uh, unfortunately some parents don't, either.
Hey, when your child comes home from school and tells you they feel the teacher is making them feel bad, singling them out from the rest of the class in a negative way (ie bad grade -- lowest scores) or ignores them completely -- PAY ATTENTION. When your child tells you they are being pestered on the bus or walking route to school, PAY ATTENTION. When they tell you 'nothing' in response to your asking how they are and it's obvious to you that 'nothing' is something -- PAY ATTENITON. HEAR both what they do and don't say. This is your child, the person you brought into this world with your hopes and dreams for them sky-high. Sure, the kid probably let you down by not getting high grades or scoring the winning point, but when did it cease to matter how they are navigating their life? When you don't LISTEN, you are telling them their joys and concerns no longer matter to you.
Kids sense when their parents aren't really connected to them any more. When that happens, that's when they begin to close themselves off in all areas of their life: school, friends, family. Interest in doing things they had always enjoyed wans and they can seem as if they don't care anymore about much of anything. Listen to your kids. You don't have to like what they have to say, but knowing they always have at least one person in this world they can talk to about anything could mean the difference of your child maintaining their normal selves or becoming and introvert who has no interest in anything.
C'mon, life is hard enough without having to go through it thinking you are alone. Family is your best support system and those that you should never fear going to for help -- do your kids know that? If they don't, work on changing that. You will all benefit and be that close family you dreamed about when you first started out.
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2 comments:
Very good advice. I really have to make myself stop and listen...and force myself to be in the moment. I hate to admit that...and it's not that my children are not important enough for my time, it's that they always want to talk at the worst times! lol!! Regardless, when I actually do stop and listen I learn a lot and I know that I am making deposits in their self-esteem bank...and really, that's more important than whatever I am doing..it all can wait, right?!
Thank you for stopping by and understanding the importance of listening to our kids. There are a lot of parents who think that what kids have to say doesn't really matter, but to them it does!
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